Nygel

Been planning this trip alone for months now. Delayed trip due to 1st. Insufficient funds, 2nd Busy Schedule and 3rd Umalis na yung mga taong dapa kasama/kaplano ko na pumunta dito (Jocas Monterola at Sayra Mercado nasan na kayo?!) kaya lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa Birthday Girl/Kaladkarin na si Jocelle Parungao na hindi nag-atubiling sumama.. Sa wakas, natuloy din! The Trip started after my 12hour shift on the 16th of March 2012, Friday. A 9Pm Victory Liner bus from Pasay heading to BAguio. ^hour ride wherein I caught up some sleep with every 2hour bladder and stretching break..4AM arrival to Baguio. Breakfast at GL Liner Bus Terminal. It was another 6hour bend across Mt. Province. The view are breath-taking, heavens kissed the Earth and literally Fields of green.Arrived around 12noon, checked-in a cheap hotel. Pig out at Masferre’s Restaurant which caters the best cooked foods in Town at a reasonable price. Registered at Sagada Municipal Hall and hired a guide for a central Sagada Tour. 3hour hike across Echo Valley, Underground River, Bokong Waterfalls and the imperishable Hanging Coffins.. Jaunt to the towns museum, Masferre’s photographs, Sagada weaving and other landmarks. Relished the taste of the local’s pasta with Etag & yogurt topped w/ seasoned fruits at Yoghurt House. The town’s curfew is 9PM. There were no TV, no parties and no touch of city life. Its too early for me to weigh down the eyelids. The coldness made my breath visible, a perfect place to idle away time. To dream, to commune with oneself, to think of happy thoughts, to let the pain reach the sky. I thought it would be hard for me to doze off but the moment I closed my eyes, I found serenity. Another tour @ 8Am the ff. day towards Southern Sagada. Will see the ion of every mouth..Sumaguing Cave. Rock formations are all worth the strenuous spelunking and trekking of the hills. Limestones are sculpted for centuries by nature.Lumiang Cave shelters coffins stacked one after another, creating an entire wall of sealed proof of how much our ancestors valued the afterlife, did not trigger fear but curiosity. The place offers a quick but rich glimpse of the past — traditions, culture, life. Another sumptuous lunch at Masferre and checked out @ 1Pm. Too bad we missed the bus going back to Baguio so we hired a jeepney worth 1000 to bring us all the way to Bontoc which stretched 45mins. away from Sagada. Good thing there were other passengers left behind too so we don’t have to shoulder the rent alone. Bontoc is another 6hour trip back to Baguio. I was worn out so I slept most of the travel. Arrived @ 8Pm to Baguio but due to volume of passengers luckily got the last trip back to Manila @ 11:55Pm just enough time to drop by at 50’s Diner famous for its 50’s style restaurant and American inspired menu. Huge servings at a cheap price. Left Baguio @12Am and arrived to Manila @5am.. I felt I was closer to heaven for the past 2days.. Touched the clouds and left my worries and hurt behind.. Stress-free and recharged.. ready to take another game on..

hindi ko akalain na isang araw magigising na lang akong galit…hindi lang sa isa o dalawang tao..kundi sa lahat ng taong nakapalligid sakin.. takot.. sa mundong pinili kong galawan…bakit? anong nangyari?

lahat ng tao nasasaktan..nakakasakit.. siguro nga minsan nawala din ako at nakasakit.. pero mas madalas ako ang iniwan.. ako ang sinaktan..hindi ako kagaya nyo, marunong akong bumalik.. marunong akong bumawi sa mga pagkukulang na palagi nyong ipinupukol sa akin..

siguro nga kapag madalas kang sinasaktan darating yung araw na galit ka na lang.. pagod ng humabol.. pagod ng umiyak.. nagpakalasing.. nagpakalayo.. nagmukmok.. nagpakagago..akala ko makakalimutan ko ang lahat ng sakit na ginawa nyo.. pero hindi, hanggang sa huli ako ang natalo.. hinayaan kong lamunin ng sakit at lungkot ang pagkatao ko.. nakalimutan konng maging masaya.. nakalimutan na rin sarili ay bigyan ng halaga..

sino ba naman hindi magagalit kung lahat ng tao niloko ka.. pinaasa.. ginamit.. tinraydor.. akala ko ba hindi ka/kayo mawawala? akala ko ba maaasahan kita? sinungaling ka.. gago kayong lahat!!!!!!!!!

lagi kong tinatanong sa sarili ko kung saan ako nagkulang? o nagkamali kaya? kwestyonable lagi ang kakayahan kong magbigay ng panahon, pagmamahal at ng sarili.. kung pwede lang hati-hatiin ko ang parte ng katawan ko para maibigay ang oras at atensyon na hihingi nyo.. pero bakit kapag ako na ang may kailangan.. kapag ako na ang nanghingi ng atensyon wala akong mahagilap?hindi pala totoong kapag marami kang itinabi marami ka din dudukutin.. ngayon sarili ko man hindi ko mahagilap kung nasaan..

sinubukan kong maging matapang.. sinubukan kong tumayo mag-isa pero sa huli.. hinahanap-hanap parin ng puso ko ang ibang tao.. siguro nga wala na akong tinira kahit kaunti para sa sakin para kahit mawala ang iba matutunan ko parin maging matatag sa kung ano man ang natira..

tama na.. sawa na kong umiyak.. pagod na kong humabol.. ngayon pag-aaralan ko talagang kayanin mag-isa.. dahil sa huli sarili mo lang naman talaga ang aasahan mo at ang nasa itaas..ayoko narin magalit sa kung sino man ang nakasakit sa akin.. tama na panalo na kayo.. oo nasaktan nyo na ko.. tapos na yun kalimutan na natin <kung pwede lang ikaw makalimutan ko na din>..

hindi na kayo makakakita ng katulad kong walang sawang maghabol.. walang pakundangan magpakatanga.. HINDI NA NGAYON..

lahat ng nakasakit sakin.. parte na lang kayo ng nakaraan ko na ayoko ng balikan.. kung sobrang minahal kita noon hanggang dun na lang yun..<loving you less than zero..>baka nga pag nakasalubong kita hindi na kita maalala.. (sana ganun na lang) ganun kasakit para gustuhin kong sana hindi na lang kita/kayo nakilala..

hanggang ngayon hahayaan ko ang sarili ko na masaktan at magmukmok.. bukas pagkagising bagong ako na.. bagong mundo na pipiliin kong galawan.. at bagong daan na tatahakin.. may mga bagong tao man na gustuhing sumabay sakin.. mas matibay na.. hindi ko na hahayaan na kuhanin nila ang bagong pagkataong binuo ko.. this time i’ll be selfish.. panahon na para iprioritize ko naman ang magpapasaya sakin..kahit mag-isa..

March 05,2012

starting to love you less… you’ve changed.. a lot.. we barely had time to talk.. no more hang outs after a a bad day.. no more deliciously cooked food after a hard day work..i used to have a companion.. i used to have someone who brightens up my day..

it was “be good even they are not.. not because they are nice but you are nice..” now, its “im sick of you being so damned nice..”  no more “i’ll watch you sleep first and i’ll wake you up early..” 

it is me.. alone.. starting my journey without you around..

time.. i longed for this.. i felt i am not valued anymore.. taken for granted often.. T_T

The Dragon is magnificent. He is flamboyant, attractive and full of vitality and strength. In China the Dragon is the imperial symbol, the sign of the emperor, or the male element Yang. The Dragon is the symbol of power and wealth.

It would be right to say that people born in the year of the dragon have a natural charisma and are certainly gifted with power and luck. It is unlikely for them to escape unnoticed from a party or to take a second place in a competition. The dragon person has an active mind and shows an unfeigned interest in the world around him/her. This person is also self-confident enough to know how to create a necessary impression. Because they are larger than life themselves, dragon people like to do everything on a grand scale. They are egoistical and ambitious, almost to the point of megalomania, and will stop at nothing to get what they want. Person born in this year wears the crown of destiny, and is capable of great achievements if he/she knows how to harness his/her tremendous energy, intelligence and talent. While these people enjoy being the centre of attention, they also have a brave and charitable side to their personality. If a dragon’s friend faces a problem or dilemma he/she will be there to offer help, and when others leave the field of battle the dragon person makes a step forward to solve the problem with authority and dignity. These people set the high standard of actions for themselves as well as for other people and are surprised when others cannot cope with a task; they are so carried away by the process that fail to see other people’s weaknesses.

The Chinese believe that there is a balance between heaven and earth in the life of people born in the year of the dragon, and successful follows them everywhere. Along with a good fortune, these people are also good organizers, who can step in at the right moment with an exciting or creative scheme. They can be quick-tempered and obstinate, and sometimes too outspoken, but there is usually good advice in their criticisms or suggestions. As a friend, person born in this year is often allows him/herself to be carried away by his/her needs to show everyone the way and neglects to solicit opinions and ideas from others. Yet no one could find a more devoted, open-hearted friend than this personality type. His/her vibrant, positive attitude is irreplaceable to have around and one can always count on him to support his friends unequivocally in times of need